How to Name a Baby in 2019.
Congratulations! You just birthed a human child! Now make sure you don’t screw up the most public decision you’ll ever make — name that kid! Follow these five rules to help you pick the awesomest, 2019-appropriate name possible!
1. Pick a perfectly good name…. and then misspell the [bleep] out of it!!
Airin
Joon
Klare
Maulee
Jawn
Tiphanee
Staysee
Andrue
Peder
Jaikob
Kneel
Knowlyn
Geoseff
Krisse
Jame (not James)
Danyell
Geoschuwah
2. All “C”s are now “K”s, and all “K”s are “C”s.
Kody
Karol
MarC
Kourtney
Klarissa
Kaleb
Karter
Klide
Cyle (pronounced “Kyle” or “Sigh-ly” depending on gender)
Karl
Kallie
Cenneth
Cevin (pronounced “Kevin” or “Suh-veen” depending on gender)
Staky (pronounced “Stacy”)
3. Pick a word that is definitely not a name and then… when our backs are turned… USE IT AS A NAME!!
Maverick
Striker
Sundae
Filly
Dancer
Fire
Rain
Sundance
Shifty
Indolence
Abstinence
Day
Mile (NOT Miles)
Tune
Dimple
Dare
Timbre
Treble
Apple
Toy
Sparkle
Shine
Cabin (pronounced “Kay-bin”)
4. Make up a word that sounds dangerously close to an actual name and then jack up the ending with a “leigh,” “lynn,” or “ryn.”
Sarleigh
Jonlynn
Karlyn
Rodyn
Kortleigh
Layleigh
Stevryn
Marlynn
Coryn
Jonathlynn
5. Instead of one of those boring human names, pick your favorite brand name!
Kia
Gillette
Chevy
Dow
Mercedes
Adida (drop the “s”)
Stetson
FBI (pronounced “Phoebe”)
Claritin
Ikea
Samsung (goes by “Sam”)
Natty (short for “Natural Light”)
Zima
Ford
Arby
Starbuck
Clipper
Packer
Steeler
Fordynighnur
